It’s easy for parents to butt heads over parenting styles—after all, it’s something that both of you care about very much. But just because you have different ideas about how to raise your children doesn’t mean that one of you is wrong. Kids need both parts of the parenting equation, and finding the balance between mom’s ideas and dad’s is a key part of parenting. Here are some of the common differences between men and women’s parenting styles, and some advice that will hopefully help you and your partner avoid conflict.

- Moms tend to be more protective of their children, while dads will encourage them to take some risks in their children. While mothers may flinch in situations where their kids could get hurt, it’s important to remember that risk-taking is a crucial way for children to develop confidence and a willingness to try new things. While no parent has to put up with anything that they’re truly uncomfortable with, ask yourself whether the activity could cause real harm, or just be slightly painful.

- Mothers are also more likely to ask for advice, compare parenting styles with other moms, and consult books or experts, whereas fathers can sometimes trust their instincts more than others’ advice. While there’s no reason to outright reject any advice, nobody knows your children better than you do—you have to have the confidence to trust your own parenting abilities.

- Men tend to be less concerned with minor details, as long as their child is safe and happy. This can be quite frustrating for mothers who feel pressure to have everything be perfect. To keep your and your partner’s sanity, decide what’s really important and what you can let slide. Learn not to sweat the small stuff.

- Dads also sometimes goof off with their children more than moms, who can get engrossed in moving from one task to the next. Humor and fun are obviously important parts of a youngster’s life, so make sure they get plenty of both. To make sure the goof-off time is evenly divided, however, split up the not-so-fun stuff down the middle as well, so that you’ve both got time to play.

- Another common difference between men and women’s parenting styles is that men will often let their children cry a bit longer before stepping in. Although this might make it seem like they care less, that’s not the case—they’re simply letting their children learn to deal with problems on their own. Being overprotective of your child can make them less-prepared for independence and adulthood.

- Men are also more likely to avoid direct confrontation with their children. Instead of forcing or commanding their children to do something they don’t want to, they’ll find ways to sneak the dreaded task in or to make a game out of it. This is also because fathers are usually less married to a strict routine and more flexible about when and how things get done.